A Few Words in the Aftermath of the Sandy Hook Tragedy

Social media outlets exploded yesterday in the wake of the mass killing in the Sandy Hook Elementary School. Twenty six dead, twenty of them children. I witnessed an outpouring of love to the families who lost yesterday as well as a renewed outpouring of love to our own children. I too was glad to see all three of my kids safe and asleep in their beds last night. Last week, there was a bomb scare at my oldest son’s high school. It was nothing more than a prank by a student, but authorities responded immediately and communication between the school and us parents at home was ongoing. It was somewhat reassuring. Last week had me frightened for my children’s safety. Yesterday did the same.

I feel for all the families who lost their children yesterday and hoped that the good thoughts, feelings and prayers (even though I’m an atheist, I recognize the importance of prayer) would continue, unabated, for days, if not weeks, to come.

Sadly, I also began to see an immediate and renewed discussion on gun control. It’s not surprising to see this, but the discussions I was reading and doing my best to stay out of were shocking.

One of my friends commented on this post from “On Liberty and Freedom’s” Facebook page:

Oklahoma is the only state that Obama did not win even one county in the last election… While everyone is focusing on Arizona ’s new law, look what Oklahoma has been doing!!!!

An update from Oklahoma :

Oklahoma law passed, 37 to 9 an amendment to place the Ten Commandments on the front entrance to the state capitol. The feds in D.C., along with the ACLU, said it would be a mistake. Hey this i

s a conservative state, based on Christian values…! HB 1330

Guess what………. Oklahoma did it anyway.

Oklahoma recently passed a law in the state to incarcerate all illegal immigrants, and ship them back to where they came from unless they want to get a green card and become an American citizen. They all scattered. HB 1804. This was against the advice of the Federal Government, and the ACLU, they said it would be a mistake.

Guess what………. Oklahoma did it anyway.

Recently we passed a law to include DNA samples from any and all illegal’s to the Oklahoma database, for criminal investigative purposes. Pelosi said it was unconstitutional SB 1102

Guess what……… Oklahoma did it anyway.

Several weeks ago, we passed a law, declaring Oklahoma as a Sovereign state, not under the Federal Government directives. Joining Texas , Montana and Utah as the only states to do so.
More states are likely to follow: Louisiana, Alabama, Georgia, Carolina’s, Tennessee, Kentucky, Missouri, Arkansas, West Virginia, Mississippi and Florida. Save your confederate money, it appears the South is about to rise up once again. HJR 1003

The federal Government has made bold steps to take away our guns. Oklahoma, a week ago, passed a law confirming people in this state have the right to bear arms and transport them in their vehicles. I’m sure that was a setback for the criminals The Liberals didn’t like it — But….
Guess what……….. Oklahoma did it anyway.

Just this month, the state has voted and passed a law that ALL drivers’ license exams will be printed in English, and only English, and no other language. They have been called racist for doing this, but the fact is that ALL of the road signs are in English only. If you want to drive in Oklahoma , you must read and write English. Really simple.

By the way, the Liberals don’t like any of this either

Guess what…who cares… Oklahoma is doing it anyway.

If you like it, pass it on, if you don’t then delete it…Thanks Guess what : they people I’m sending this to , will send it on. Well, at least the ones who love and believe in freedom will.

…by saying it was much too soon after the tragic event in Connecticut to be touting these statements. I agree with my friend, but the amount of hate he had thrown at him was disgusting.

Another friend of mine, comic book writer and illustrator, Rich Woodall, posted a link to the Bushmaster Patrolman’s Carbine M4A3 Rifle, being sold on the Walmart website with this comment:

Why does anyone “NEED” to have an Assault Rifle? And why can you buy them at Wal-Mart? That’s one of the guns the Murderer in CT used… I’m not saying he bought it at walmart. What I am saying is I’m not sure what the hell hunters in the US are hunting that they “NEED” a weapon like this. I’m not anti-gun at all, I grew up w/ guns, my family owns it’s fair share of guns. I am pro-background checks, pro-mandatory gun locks, pro-screening for mental health… clearly this guy had some sort of mental health problem… I’m guessing all of these nutballs do. Putting guns in the hands of Teachers/Principals isn’t the answer either, I’ve met enough crazy teachers / principals in my life. (again, I’m not saying all teachers are nuts, but it doesn’t take “All” of them going crazy to make for a similar scene). Maybe we need more of a Police presence at our schools? Maybe we need to make sure people w/ mental issues get the help they need. Maybe we need to take Assault Rifles off the shelf… and don’t give me this bullshit that criminals will get them so we need to have them to stop them. Criminals will get them, that is true, but if we take them off the shelf, it will be a hell of a lot harder for them to get them… and maybe it will save a couple lives… even if it saves 1 life it’s helped a little.

Being the highly opinionated, yet logical, historian that I am, I responded to Rich:

Rich, I agree with your position 100%. I too grew up in a home that had firearms, but they were hunting weapons and used strictly for such.

I think the core issue here is the NRA and those people who support that organization. They tout the 2nd Amendment as a law which allows them to own any firearm they choose to own and they have a lot of pull in Washington. But, as any good constitutional lawyer worth his/her salt will tell you, it is not only about the letter of the law but also the INTENT of the law (going all the way back to James Madison).

The intent behind the 2nd amendment was to placate the general populace after they were subjected to an armed occupation of their land and homes. In most cases, the British Army did not allow the colonists to openly own or use firearms (though many did). When the Bill of Rights was written, it was during a time when firearms were black powder weapons, taking a number of minutes to load each round. It was also a time when mass killing innocent civilians was an unthinkable act. Madison and the other authors of the Constitution had no possible way of being able to predict the future of weaponry. They had no way of knowing how easy it would become for one person to kill so many in such a short time.

At this point in time, it’s too late to change anything. Weapon developers/manufacturers own powerful companies, the NRA is a powerful lobby in DC and it had become much too easy to obtain almost any weapon you want despite the law. Putting guns into the hands of teachers is not the answer. Putting arm guards in all schools is not the answer. These are like putting Band-Aids on a severed limb. It will have no effect.

I don’t have an answer and I don’t think anyone does. This has become a sad cycle of “mass killing, gun control debate, no action” – rinse and repeat.

My response to Rich says very well what I think and feel about this issue.

It will never change/be fixed/go away and I fear for the future we have created for our children.

UPDATE:

Morgan Freeman’s response to the massacre asks that you turn off the news and remember the victims, not the killer.

You want to know why. This may sound cynical, but here’s why.

It’s because of the way the media reports it. Flip on the news and watch how we treat the Batman theater shooter and the Oregon mall shooter like celebrities. Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris are household names, but do you know the name of a single *victim* of Columbine? Disturbed people who would otherwise just off themselves in their basements see the news and want to top it by doing something worse, and going out in a memorable way. Why a grade school? Why children? Because he’ll be remembered as a horrible monster, instead of a sad nobody.CNN’s article says that if the body count “holds up”, this will rank as the second deadliest shooting behind Virginia Tech, as if statistics somehow make one shooting worse than another. Then they post a video interview of third-graders for all the details of what they saw and heard while the shootings were happening. Fox News has plastered the killer’s face on all their reports for hours. Any articles or news stories yet that focus on the victims and ignore the killer’s identity? None that I’ve seen yet. Because they don’t sell. So congratulations, sensationalist media, you’ve just lit the fire for someone to top this and knock off a day care center or a maternity ward next.
You can help by forgetting you ever read this man’s name, and remembering the name of at least one victim. You can help by donating to mental health research instead of pointing to gun control as the problem. You can help by turning off the news.

Here they are, the tragic victims. I don’t list their names to be cruel, but because I agree with Mr Freeman. Let’s remember the innocents and stop turning monsters into celebrities. Remember especially Victoria Soto, who hid her first graders in the cabinets and closets after hearing the gunfire. When the shooter came to her classroom, she told him that her students were in the gym. He then gunned her down and moved on. She saved the lives of all of her students. She was 27 years old and died a hero.

I obtained this list from CNN.com

- Charlotte Bacon, 2/22/06, female
- Daniel Barden, 9/25/05, male
- Rachel Davino, 7/17/83, female.
- Olivia Engel, 7/18/06, female
- Josephine Gay, 12/11/05, female
- Ana M. Marquez-Greene, 04/04/06, female
- Dylan Hockley, 3/8/06, male
- Dawn Hochsprung, 06/28/65, female
- Madeleine F. Hsu, 7/10/06, female
- Catherine V. Hubbard, 6/08/06, female
- Chase Kowalski, 10/31/05, male
- Jesse Lewis, 6/30/06, male
- James Mattioli , 3/22/06, male
- Grace McDonnell, 12/04/05, female
- Anne Marie Murphy, 07/25/60, female
- Emilie Parker, 5/12/06, female
- Jack Pinto, 5/06/06, male
- Noah Pozner, 11/20/06, male
- Caroline Previdi, 9/07/06, female
- Jessica Rekos, 5/10/06, female
- Avielle Richman, 10/17/06, female
- Lauren Rousseau, 6/1982, female (full date of birth not specified)
- Mary Sherlach, 2/11/56, female
- Victoria Soto, 11/04/85, female
- Benjamin Wheeler, 9/12/06, male
- Allison N. Wyatt, 7/03/06, female

One last thing before I go. My friend SAM, whom I talk about often on this blog (in so much as I think her writing is great) and is a card-carrying member of the Master Class Fab Four, also posted her thoughts on Friday’s tragedy. She asks us to remember especially the first responders, who lived the nightmare so that no one else had to.

$3.41

Me and the Boy

As I go down the basement stairs, I can hear the soft whirring that says the dryer is still running. On top of that sound is the tell-tale noise of loose change being thrown around inside the machine. I grumble, wondering which of the boys forgot to empty his pockets.

The dryer is just about done, so I open the door and start pulling the hot clothes out. I regret having taken a shower and gotten dressed already. Putting on my old sweats just out of the dryer would feel great on this chilly morning.

All the clothes are out and I see them. Coins and a few bills, one of which is a two dollar bill. I know now who left money in their pocket.

Coming up the stairs, he’s there waiting for me. “Daaaaaddy,” he says in his two-note sing-song way. “We need the pizza lunch money.”

“You do, huh?” I ask.

“A-yeah,” he responds, making it one word. I don’t know where he picked up the Maine lobsterman slang, but it’s cute. “We need the one dollar bill, the two dollar bill, the quarter, the nickle, the dime and the penny.”

“You need that much, do ya?” I know hot lunch is only a dollar forty, but he doesn’t. Forget that it’s Saturday. To him, this is all a game.

“A-yeah.”

“Ok, let’s take a look at the laundry. I found some money in the dryer. Did you leave your pizza lunch money in your pants?”

“Noooo,” he scoffs. It’s always a wonder that this eight year old autistic boy has already learned to lie.

“Hmm,” I pretend to think. “Well, somebody did. I have it here. Let’s count it to see if it’s enough, okay?”

“A-yeah!”

I set the laundry basket down, and we sit at the dining room table. I put the money on the table and his eyes go wide as he sucks in a deep breath.

“It’s shiny coins!” He manifests his excitement by waving his arms and legs, causing him to bounce in the chair while he makes a “mmmmmmmm” sound. We’ve been told that this is a typical show of happiness in autistic children.

“Yes, they’re shiny because I washed them with the clothes.” This statement means nothing to him, he’s already reaching for the penny.

“The penny is shiny,” he states. “Abraham Linkin and the Linkin Memoral.”

I don’t correct his mispronunciations. “That’s right. We’re gonna count the money, remember?”

“A-yeah,” he gathers all the currency to him and begins straightening the bills. “It’s a one dollar bill and a two dollar bill. That’s three dollars.” He smiles.

“Yes, it is. Now, how about the coins?”

“It’s four coins.”

“Yes, it’s four coins. How many cents is it?”

He scrunches up his face, clearly trying to come up with an answer. He suddenly smiles and says with confidence, “The quarter is twenty five cents, the nickel is five cents, the dime is ten cents and the penny is one cents.”

“That’s right!” We hive five. “But how many cents is it altogether?”

“No.” His voice is curt and firm.

“No?”

“I don’t want altogether.”

“But how are we going to know if you have enough pizza lunch money?” I ask him. “You have to add it up.”

He starts to get anxious. “Or maybe…”

“C’mon, buddy. You’ve done this before.”

“Waitaminute! Waitaminute! Waitaminute!” He’s panting now. It’s hard to know with him when he’s going to feel overwhelmed. Tasks that he can perform with ease can suddenly become mountains to him.

“Okay, do you want some help?” He nods. “Alright.”

I place a finger on the quarter and pull it aside. “You said a quarter is twenty five cents, right?”

“A-yeah.”

“And a nickel is five cents, right?”

He nods.

“Okay, how much is twenty five plus five?”

He counts under his breath, “One, two, three, four, five,” then says with conviction, “Thirty!”

“Yeah!” I pull the dime over the the quarter and nickel. “Now add ten to thirty.”

“Forty,” he says without hesitation.

“Now, add one.”

“Forty one!” He giggles.

“Right! Now, if we add in the dollars…”

“Three dollars and forty one cents!” He is laughing now. I can’t help but envy his delight in simple things.

“That’s right! Is that all your pizza lunch money?”

“A-yeah,” he gathers up the money and begins lining it up. “Now we can have pizza for dinner.” He nods as only as confident child can.

                                                                                                                                

This is my 200th post. Rather than write a silly short fiction piece, I decided to use this week’s Scriptic prompt to describe a typical interaction with my youngest son, Tristan. He’s 8-years-old, in second grade and lives with an autism disorder. While not severe, his autism can make everyday interactions difficult.

For the Scriptic prompt exchange this week, SAM gave me this prompt: The money has been laundered..

I gave David Wiley this prompt: “Don’t you recognize an Omnidirectional Symetricum when you see one?”

So What

This week’s Music Monday is brought to you by the letter “J” for Joe.

Joe is my buddy – we play music together, play D&D with my kids and just generally have fun.

Joe at Gillette Stadium 1/2/2011. We were there for the Patriots last regular 2010 season game vs the Dolphins.

Joe, being the supportive friend that he is, reads my blog regularly and gave me a suggestion for my post today. “Why not write about Miles Davis?”

Ok, Davis is cool. He did give birth to it after all.

“But here’s the cool part,” said Joe. There’s always a cool part with Joe, and he’s never lying about it being cool. “Remember that post you wrote about Tristan earlier in the week?”

How could I forget?

“Miles Davis once said, ‘Don’t play what’s there, play what’s not there.’ You could tie that in to how you couldn’t find words to talk about Tristan with your writing.”

Bless you, Joe, you’re a friggin’ genius!

Davis has said a number of inspiring things over the course of his amazing jazz career:

Do not fear mistakes. There are none.

I’m always thinking about creating. My future starts when I wake up every morning… Every day I find something creative to do with my life.

Sometimes you have to play a long time to be able to play like yourself.

I know what I’ve done for music, but don’t call me a legend. Just call me Miles Davis.

Inspiring words for any creative type.

That said, Joe (and Miles!) helped me realize that my difficulty in finding words to express how I feel about Tristan’s situation is okay. I don’t need to worry about it.

Wake up every morning and don’t fear mistakes. Learn from them.

Only in that way can we improve.

Don’t worry.

Or, as Miles Davis said with song, “So What.”

Here it is, from his 1959 album Kind of Blue, Miles Davis’ “So What.” 

Overheard at …

HOME

~ Middle child after eating all the carrots but not the peas on his plate: “I ate the carrots but not the peas. I hate peas. Does that mean I’m a vegetist?”

~ Middle child (13) on making a discovery: “I have hair ‘down there!’ I’m pubertizing!”

~ Youngest child (7) when asked what he wants for Christmas: “A PT Cruiser.”

~ Me when I couldn’t remember Michael Clarke Duncan’s name while watching The Finder: “Hey hon! Look! It’s that guy!”   Her: “What guy?”  Me: “That big black guy who always plays a big black guy.”  Her: “I can’t believe you just said that.”   Me: “Oh God. I’m going to hell, aren’t I?”

~ Mother-in-law: “The computer’s doing it again.”  Me: “Doing what?”  MIL: “The thingy popped up. I think MSN is broken.”  Me: “MSN is broken?!”  MIL: “Yeah, when the thing-a-ma-jig popped up it said the do-hickey was doing something.”  Me: “What?!”  MIL: “MSN broke my computer.”

~ My oldest (accident prone) son (16): “I want a driver’s licence.”  Me: “No friggin’ way.”  Him: “Why not?”  Me: “You can’t even walk in a straight line.”

~ Me upon seeing that the middle child bought Adventure Time figures with his gift cards from Christmas: “What are those?”   Him: “They’re my collecti-bibbels!”

~ My youngest: “Daddy, I want to play a game.”  Me: “Ok, buddy, what game do you want to play?”  Him: “Guess Who.”  Me: “Guess Who?” Him: “Joe!”  Me, as he runs away laughing: “Who the heck is Joe?!”

THE CIRCLE K

~ After handing the FEMALE cashier a stack of ones to cover 19-some-odd dollars: “What’d you do? Rob a stripper?”  Me: “No, it’s my stripper start-up fund.”

ON THE PHONE

~ Me: “Ma, what the hell is that noise?”   Mom: “I think your father’s breaking something.”

~ Me after playing Dungeons and Dragons Online with my father: “Dad, why didn’t you use any of your spells last night? They could have helped out a lot.”  Dad: “I got rid of them.”  Me: “What for? You kinda need them to play you character successfully.”  Dad: “I couldn’t figure it out.”

~ My dad after I explained how to use spells in DDO: “I got rid of my character.”  Me: “Why?”  Dad: “It got too hard to play him.”  Me: “Did you use your spells?”  Dad: “No.”  Me: “But I told you how.”  Dad: “Yeah, I know. I still couldn’t figure it out. I made a Ranger instead.”  Me: “Ok, that should be easier for you. Just remember, Rangers can start using spells at level 4.”  Dad:  ” *groan* “

2012 Weekly Recap #4

It was a little slow here at I Can’t Brain this past week so let’s just jump right to it, shall we?

On Monday, I talked a bit about the 2012 Goodreads Reading Challenge. I was also featured at Rivera Runs Through It with an interview about my first book love.

On Wednesday, I wrote a tribute to my father (he’s still alive and questioning the validity of some of the points I made), crediting him with being my greatest influence in both being a writer and what I’m writing. I can never give him enough thanks.

On Fiction Friday, part 4 of Easy Money went up. Next week is the finale!

Finally, Saturday saw me lamenting having to abandon my scheduled post for that day – postponing it until Monday for various reasons. Lesson learned: I’m not as think as I smart I am.

It’s Sunday morning. By this evening, I’ll be experiencing and audio assault that in my younger days I would have welcomed, but I’m dreading today. I’m taking my oldest boy to Gigantour so he can enjoy the likes of Megadeth and Motorhead. Honestly though, I’m kind of looking forward to hearing Lacuna Coil. I dig the female fronted heavy bands like Evanescence and Flyleaf.

Until next time, Write On!

Sometimes, your greatest writing influence isn’t a writer.

This past Monday, I was interviewed by Rivera Runs Through It. The topic was “First Book Love.” During the interview, I credited my father with introducing me to “The Hobbit” and starting for me a life-long love of books and reading. Go read the interview and then come back.

I’ll wait.

I can credit my father with much more than just introducing me to reading. In the third grade, a classmate brought to school a rule book and game module for a “new” game – Dungeons and Dragons. I say “new” because it was new to me. I didn’t know it had been around for a number of years already.

Get your geek on!

Within the pages of that rule book, I found a game that let me play in a world that was so similar to Middle-Earth as to be almost no different. I spent a Saturday afternoon at my classmate’s house and learned the basics of how to play the game and fell in love with it instantly. When I came home that day, I asked for my own set of D&D rules for Christmas.

Christmas came and so did my shiny new D&D game.  My father, brother and I played every Saturday for quite a while. We collected more rulebooks, adventure modules, monster cards and figures. We played all the time.

Then my dad came home from work one day with this:

How very monochromatic.

It was an older version of the D&D rules that he had kept in his desk at work because he played it during his lunch breaks. Yes, my father had been playing D&D for longer than I had even known about the game. (I am now the owner of that old rule book and it’s worth some cash.)

Not only did my father introduce me to the fantasy genre, he encouraged me to play a game in which my imagination could run wild – a game that allowed my imagination to come to life.

When I tried to write my own stories, they weren’t very good at first – I think I was in eighth grade when I wrote my first short stories. Hang on a minute ….

Yep, found them. Eighth grade. Just found two of them – one hand written mystery story and one fantasy story printed on a dot-matrix printer (remember those?). Trust me, they’re garbage. However, the fantasy story I had submitted to a children’s magazine (stories written by children that is – I think it was called “Merlin’s Pen”) and it got to the second editor before being rejected. So, that’s something, I guess.

Getting back -

My dad didn’t show much interest in my writing at first. Not openly, anyway.

I can’t really pin point when it started, but he began to give me story ideas. Little germs that he would think of but couldn’t write down, because, by his own admission, he “stinks at writing.”

Over the years he’s given me many and many I rejected as unworkable for me (sorry Dad, I know you’re reading this). Other’s have been jotted down as something I felt I could do something with in an ever growing notebook specially for Dad’s ideas (didn’t know that, did you, Dad?).

Discussing the difficulties of "world-building"

That picture up there? I remember that day. We were talking about a story idea I had where giants would be the main characters. It was at my aunt’s house and asked her for some crayons or colored pencils and drew a rough sketch of a map for the world my dad and I were discussing.

I never wrote the story, but did adapt most of it into a D&D world that was used many years later.

Not really sure what we were talking about, but let's just say it was a story idea, ok?

He’s still coming up with ideas and still throwing them my way.

In fact, the book I’m writing now is based off an idea of his. A very cool idea that I don’t think has ever been done in the fantasy genre. Yesterday, I wrote over 2,000 words. Not much really, but it’s the most I’ve done in years. I’ll be writing more when I finish this post.

One of the books I abandoned that came from a talk with my dad I was bold enough to write a dedication to:

This book is dedicated to my father, Richard Storch,

who took me on my first trips to Middle-Earth,

the world of the descendants of Jerle Shannara,

the Land of Thomas Covenant

and many other places that exist in our imaginations.

I would never have done this without you Dad.

My current book has no title as yet. Titles come last.

What comes first is that Dad gets to read every word right after I’m finished for the day.

It’s the least I can do.

Trying again.

 Linking this with YeahWrite 42 – I feel it’s important enough.

2012 Weekly Recap #3

It’s been “looking inward” week here. I dug deep and posted a few things I was apprehensive to share.

On Monday, I stumbled upon a writing prompt at Write on Edge. The result was a short piece I called “A Vanishing Trail.”

Tuesday, I used the weekly writing prompt at Studio30 Plus to come up with “That’s What Dreams Are Made of.”

I have mentioned my youngest son and his issue of PDD-NOS a few times on my blog, but I Wednesday, I made the tough choice and decided to show what it is really like. In “Autism, As I See It,” I talk a bit about my fears regarding my son and included a two minute video of his attempt to answer some simple questions. I hope that it has been enlightening.

On Thursday, I took a break from blogging in order to spend time reading the fabulous entries of the 40th LoveLinks. Fifty people participated (yours truly included). It was inspiring to read so many wonderful posts!

For Friday’s Fiction Friday, part three of Easy Money was released. Next week’s installment promises to be action packed!

Last, Saturday rolled around. I was feeling kind of cruddy and again left blogging for the day. However, I did finally start working on the manuscript to my book. I haven’t decided if I’m going to post snippets, whole chapters or nothing at all here. I will post progress reports though for those that are interested.

So that’s another week of 2012 in the can! It snowed a few times here during the past week so I’ll leave you with Vince Guaraldi’s “Skating” from the Charlie Brown Christmas Special. Enjoy!

Autism, As I See It.

My youngest son, Tristan, has an Autism disorder. He was diagnosed with PDD-NOS when he was three years old.

PDD-NOS is defined as:

Pervasive Developmental Disorder-Not Otherwise Specified (PDD-NOS) is one of the autism spectrum disorders and is used to describe individuals who do not fully meet the criteria for autistic disorder or Asperger syndrome.

PDD-NOS may be thought of as “subthreshold autism,” or a diagnosis one can give a person who has “atypical symptomatology.”  In other words, when someone has autistic characteristics but some of their symptoms are mild, or they have symptoms in one area (like social deficits), but none in another key area (like restricted, repetitive behaviors), they may be given the PDD-NOS label.  (Quote taken from http://www.autismspeaks.org/what-autism/pdd-nos)

Tristan is a bright boy. He’s a happy boy. He wants for nothing. He’s seven years old and in the first grade.

Outside of the walls of my house, he is also my embarrassment.

That sounds horrible, I know.

But it’s difficult being out with him in public. Tristan is small and looks much younger than he is. His speech makes him seem even younger yet.

He doesn’t act out when in public. Quite the opposite. He’s very well behaved.

However, I have a fear every time I am out with him. When he was a baby and a toddler, he attracted the attention of grandmothers and other women. Always with questions: “What’s his name? How old is he? Where’s his mother?”

I answered truthfully at first; telling people he was three when he appeared to be no more than 18 months or so.

Then I would get the looks.

Those horrible, pitying looks.

Then I started to lie about his age.

The looks stopped.

Over time, the questions stopped.

But that fear remains.

I struggled for a long time about how much I wanted to talk about this on my blog. About how much I wanted to share with you all.

I finally decided to do it and took a short video of my boy. With my wife’s blessing, I am posting it here.

This is Tristan, 7 years and 3 months old, answering questions about his day at school:

I don’t know how many of his answers are true. He tends to remember responses that achieved a positive response and will repeat them whether they are true or not.

Also, he doesn’t normally squint. The light from the camera was in his face.

He is in first grade. All of his teachers have assured us that academically, he’s doing very well – near the top of the class. He has a knack for remembering information. Getting that information out can be difficult, as you can see.

I so desperately want to be able to talk to my boy like a father should be able to talk to a “normal” seven year old.

He is my pride and joy. I love him dearly.

He is a happy child – a funny child – a smart child – a loving child.

I just wish he could tell me he loves me and actually know what he’s saying.

Linking with the Write on Edge weekend linkup.

“That’s what Dreams are made of”

I had mentioned in an earlier post my love of music and that I started playing music at an early age. Well, 4th grade, when I became eligible to participate in my school’s music program.

I was digging through some old pictures over the weekend and was surprised by how many I found with me playing an instrument. Not just me; other family members too. It never occurred to me that I came from a musical family until just a few days ago. It’s been just “one of those things my family does.”

That's me with the licorice stick

They say musicians get all the girls...

So, yeah, I started with the clarinet. My grandfather introduced me to the likes of Glenn Miller and Pete Fountain. I didn’t care if listening to old swing music wasn’t cool. I dug it.

I had a private teacher and entered the NYSMA (New York State Music Association) competitions every year and earned first place a number of times. Practicing for those competitions was boring, so I played “Moonlight Serenade” and “Whipped Cream” instead of the works of Carl Maria von Weber. And when I could finally play that slinky intro to “Rhapsody in Blue” by George Gershwin I knew I found what I wanted to do for the rest of my life.

I was going to be a musician.

But I wasn’t going to play the clarinet to do it. No freakin’ way.

I was going to play the sax.

Jammin' some "In the Mood"

I played clarinet in the school’s concert band and the orchestra. I played sax in the school’s jazz and pep bands. It was fun. And I was good at it.

As the years went on, I started to not like what I was doing. I was one of the best in school (and in some parts of the state, having been chosen to be in the All-State band a number of years) and I was starting to feel pressure. Pressure to maintain a high level of performance. I was entering my teen years and pressure from adults was anathema.

In 1986, Van Halen released an album with a new lead singer called “5150.” The new singer was, of course, Sammy Hagar, and Van Halen became one of the most popular bands in the world.

Oh yeah. They got the girls.

I had a cassette tape of that album. Then I had a second, because the first one broke from being played too much.

Then a third.

A fourth.

Screw this clarinet and saxophone bullcrap, I said to myself, Electric guitar is where I wanna be.

So, I asked for one for Christmas. My parents told me only if I buy it myself.

Huh. Ok.

So I did.

I saved up $90 and bought a cheap guitar from Service Merchandise. (Remember them?)

Then I wrapped it up and put it under the tree per my agreement with my parents that not only was I to buy it myself, I also had to wait until Christmas to use it.

I know, right?

Me on the left with my "Xmas present."

I stopped listening to Miller and Fountain. Van Halen, Floyd, Hendrix, Zeppelin and Clapton took their place.

I still wanted to be a musician for a living. The end of high school was approaching and thoughts of college and what I would study were not uncommon. I decided to major in English Lit and minor in Music.

I had dreams.

I was gonna go somewhere.

...and then this happened.

There was a reason Nancy Reagan started the “Just Say No” campaign.

I began college in the fall just after high school and was home - permanently - before Thanksgiving the same year.

So, I did what any one in my place would have done.

I enlisted in the Navy…

Seaman Storch

…and was discharged Other Than Honorably for going AWOL.

Three times.

Ok, wow. This was supposed to be a post about playing music.

And play music I did.

And still do.

I’ve owned a number of guitars over the years – the clarinet went to my sister and I think my parents still have the saxophone in their house somewhere.

I’ve played in a few bands – that went nowhere.

Currently, I have a friend who also plays. We get together from time to time and jam out some blues, ZZ Top and such. It’s fun, but it’s not what my dream was. I think that dream is dead.

All I can do is have fun with what I’ve got – A good friend to play music with occasionally.

My youngest son has shown an affinity for music. He can play major scales on a piano by finding the sounds. He can also find thirds and fifths. He can sing in tune and has a great sense of rhythm.

He told me he wants to learn how to play the violin.

If he does pursue that, I’ll encourage him, but not push him. My parents pushed me, and I pushed back – loosing the joy I once had. I’ll encourage my boy, I’ll play along with him and we’ll make beautiful music.

Together.

I think that’s a better dream. Don’t you?

Here’s the video I saw on MTV during the summer of ’86. The one about dreams that made me want to pick up a guitar and become a rockstar.

A new name, but the same great people!

Naked Girl Has Guests!

Today is a first for me.  I was asked to guest post for Kelly at Naked Girl in a Dress.

You can read my post, But I Love Him Anyway, over at her blog.

I must give Kelly a huge “THANK YOU!!” for giving me this opportunity and believing that what I have to say is important.